Wednesday, February 2, 2011

ELLEN- The Little Dog Laughed (Douglas Carter Beane)

Later this afternoon I’ll go back to Williamsburg with Alex. I’ll be cold on the subway and he’ll take off his leather jacket and put it over my shoulders. It will be the kindest gesture anyone will do for me for the rest of my life, and I have a sense of it, in that moment. Once we’re back in his horrible apartment, we will begin to make love. And even though he’s three inches from my face- And he’s looking directly into my eyes. I can see that he is miles away and is thinking of someone else. And he feels so good. And I feel so good. And he holds me. And he holds me and he holds me and he holds me. And he holds me for a long time. And he holds me until I hear his long deep exhale that I’ve come to know means that he is asleep. And he is asleep and I am awake and- OK the thing with guys, when they make love to you it’s like they’re running into your arms. And if you look really close at their faces, you can see if they’re running towards you or running away from something else- and you just got in the way. And I got a good look at Alex’s face and- he was definitely fleeing someone or something and I was road kill. I mean beautiful road kill… I sneak out of bed and go to my laptop computer, get on line, and quickly type in the name, “Mitchell Green” and look at this photograph of this guy next door for a very long time. And then I find the sleek new gimp bracelet I made- which is just so orange- and I, with the merest suggestion of pageantry, slide it on his wrist. And I go to sleep just content as like a…’cause I know- wherever he is. Whoever. Whoever he’s with. He’s wearing that bracelet and. I’m with- I’m. So, you see, a lot can be said about the psychologically healing powers of jewelry.